La Divina Providencia: The First Visit
Rumors about visiting an elder- care center have been around for many years now. At times the visit felt imminent, but at others, it felt just like a distant, unrealistic project that sounded good on paper only. On Thursday, that long-awaited project finally came to life.
At 10:00, we rode on the buses and went on our way to visit La Divina Providencia, near the UAQ's main campus. After some minutes, we were on a single, semi-ordered file ready to enter the care center. We could see it in each other's faces that some of us were nervous, shy, and even afraid to enter; still, many of us, if not all, were very excited.
The doors opened, and all of us went in. The first thing we saw was a sculpture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, looking down on all of us. Behind her, a garden that was clearly being cared of. [Nico] My first impression was good. There were no residents on sight, we were all wondering where they might be. They were right around the corner, in a long hallway I had seen before, on a YouTube commercial (the care center has received at least a couple of big government donations in the past)., They were many women sitting or walking along the hallway, so we decided to start walking towards them.
We were given total freedom to approach anyone we wanted. Many of us, including myself [Nico] were very anxious about talking to them. Even saying 'Hi' was a challenge at the beginning. Nonetheless, many of our girls were brave and immediately started a conversation with them. To those girls, among them: Karina, Abigail, Ana Victoria, and many others, I [Nico] take my hat off to them.
At one point one of the boys in our group told me how nervous and uncomfortable he felt. I felt the same way, but I told him we both needed to stay calm and try to have the residents comfortable and happy.
Walking down there were many pictures and paintings on the walls: forests, beaches, and old portraits decorating the walls; I [Nico] wish I had taken the time to ask who they were. We were split into two groups, and ours [Juan Pablo & Nicolás] was taken to the men's ward. There, we spent most our time.
The Residents
We entered the common area, a room with a TV, a couple of tables to talk or play games, sofas and a small bookshelf with some history books, a small novel, and a 3rd-grade textbook. After greeting everyone there, each of us approached a resident and began talking or playing.
Andrea Beristain and I [Nico] first talked to a man on a couch, and he asked us to sing. Andrea and I [Nico] were both surprised: we didn´t know how or what to sing. In the end, we apologized, we sang nothing for the man. Sadly, there weren't any musical instrument available, either. I left thinking we had disappointed him.
I [Nico] was asked by one of the caregivers to talk to a certain man in a blue sweater. The caregiver said: "He's quite sick. It's hard to talk to him, but try; you might get him to talk." I'm terrible at making conversations with new people, but I just couldn't say no, so I went and sat with him.
After saying "Hi", I [Nico] asked him "Mister, the caregiver tells me you're sick?". He answered, "Am I sick?", and I immediately regretted asking such a thing. After a moment, though, he seemed to have forgotten everything about that, so I kept trying to make a conversation with him. It wasn't easy.
All his answers were vague and short, despite my efforts [Nico] to try to learn more from him. At the moment, I thought: "clearly, he isn't interested in talking", so I offered to help him join a game of Domino across the room, and he agreed. But when I asked one of the interns to help me take him to the game, he explained to me the man suffered from dementia, and that it was best for me to keep him where he was.
So, I [Nico] went back to him and kept trying to talk with him, being careful not to be too insistent or to make him uncomfortable. After I thought I'd done everything I could, I thanked him for his time and approached one of the tables.
Qadmiel and Braulio were playing Domino with two residents and seemed to be having fun. The caregiver I'd [Nico] seen before saw me and asked me to talk to another resident. I told him I wanted to talk to more residents, but that it was hard for me to do so. He said to me: "That is exactly why you should do it. It will get easier with time." So, I sat with another resident, a man in a red sweater.
We exchanged a few words and I [Nico] asked him if he enjoyed living there. I didn't have to ask anything else, he told me his whole life story on the spot. Born in poverty, struggling to find food in his youth, beaten by his father; until one day, while shining shoes for money on a plaza, he was offered a job as a car mechanic on a workshop. From there, his life kept improving until he started to drink.
He tells that for years he was a hard alcoholic until his spontaneous and strong pains started to get worse every time on his upper-right side and made him think that his liver had finally given up. Fortunately, his liver was not as bad as everyone expected, but after that day he didn't drink again, and to care for he was sent to La Divina Providencia.
At many times, he started tearing up while telling his story, but overall, he seemed very happy about being a resident there. Feelings were powerful.
We were interrupted when a group of ladies came, giving cookies and toilet paper to the residents. All of them were very happy to see them arrive. I [Nico] asked one of the ladies if they came often to visit the residents, and she told me they come every Thursday. "We need to keep coming, the residents are now expecting us every week and we can't let them down; and we love to keep coming to try to put smiles on their faces." She asked if we would come more often to visit, I couldn't give her a definite answer but I hope we do.
Samuel, León, Luis Gomez and I [Juan Pablo] approached a group of men and invited them to play domino and everyone accepted. We sat on a table nearby and began playing. After a while, more adults came to us to join in; we gave them our places and helped them put the chips and develop strategies.
I [Nico] finished my day with Braulio, Luis Gomez, and the man in red sweater playing Domino, having a very nice time while Vargas and others gave each of us, students and residents, a little something to eat. At around 12:10 it was time for us to go. We said 'Goodbye' and exited the room. Walking back to the entrance we saw the rest of our classmates had a great time with the women, not wanting to leave so soon.
Farewell
By 12:30 we were all on the bus, talking with each other about our experiences in the care center. Most of them were very positive. When we asked our classmates about what they experienced, Itzel said she was very happy with the visit, and that she hoped we would do it again.
She also told us how it was on the women's ward. There were many games as well, but the girls seem to have had much more conversation with the women than we had with the men. Itzel told us the women told many, many stories, both funny and very sad at the same time. Ana Victoria even recorded an interview with one of the women. Margarita, who is 112 years old! What an opportunity.
Final thoughts
I [Nico] was positively surprised, I expected the place to be in a very bad condition. I [Nico] did not dare to ask, but I wonder if the many religious symbols all over the care center were there to make the residents feel better. We certainly hope so.
I [Juan Pablo] believe these activities should be done more frequently because it helps us to become humble and mature and to see the reality of life in other places. The
talk of the visit continued until the very next day before we went to the Bicentenario, and many of us will probably remember it for a very long time. I [Nico] just wish we could say everything was happy. When visiting places such as that, but it probably never is.
